Guest Post: John Adams
Human beings are considered the smartest species on planet earth, then why is it that our children take the longest to become independent? We are indeed obliged to support our child at a tender age, but deep down in our heart we don’t want them to grow up. Instead of training them to develop survival skills, we end up doing their work for them. Our children are so used to being pampered that they are shocked when we request the slightest of favors.
As a parent, you are programmed to be protective and you will always act upon your instinct to keep your child out of harm’s way. Every parent wants to provide the best to their child, no matter what it takes. We perceive children as our weakness, rather than our strength. Kids take advantage of our soft spot and we fall for the illusions they create. When a child sobs and blames us for his/her pain, we identify ourselves as the villain in their story. The child’s body language makes us rethink our approach
to discipline them. Children are our most precious asset after all, and it hurts when they tell us that they feel unloved.
The key problem in relatable situations is that the child has not been taught to respect his/her elders.
Instead of trying to be ‘better parents’ who are considerate of the child’s emotions, you should focus on shaping your children into individuals who possess commendable moral values. Children truly are sensitive, but that does not mean that you let them get away with their mistakes. Aggressive behavior in not the answer, though it is necessary to stay firm and exercise some strictness.
Look for ways to improve the child’s attitude, instead of blaming yourself or your spouse. The child could be involuntarily or consciously exploiting your unconditional love, thus you need to comprehend the facts.
You need to establish that you and your partner possess the upper hand; hence, the kids will have to live by your rules rather than the other way around. The first step to incorporating responsibility in your child’s character is by teaching him/her the difference between wrong and right. Being responsible is not about participating in household chores, but doing the most feasible thing in a given situation. Apart from setting out guidelines and providing direction, parents have to become role models. Kids observe individuals in their immediate surroundings and are very likely to follow in their footsteps.
Do not expect the child to automatically correct mistakes when he/she gets older. If inappropriate behavior is not discouraged from the start, he/she may view it as acceptable, even after reaching a mature age. Children must realize that choosing the wrong path comes with dire consequences. The difference between wrong and right can be instilled through basic mannerism, for example:
– saying sorry, please, and thank you
– no accepting gifts from strangers
– no taking something without the owner’s permission
– no watching television after eight
– brushing teeth twice a day
When a child learns to say sorry, he/she acquires the ability to recognise and admit his/her mistakes. Rather than covering up a blunder, your kid will strive to redeem his/her integrity. Let your child know that there is no shame in coming clean and seeking forgiveness; make them fathom that one lie leads to a thousand, and becomes an insufferable burden. Remorse and repent should be communicated as positive emotions, whereas arrogance must be shunned. ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ promote feelings of gratitude and reverence. Your child must earn and appreciate all the good things in life provided by parents, mentors, and peers. Some of the points mentioned above may sound insignificant, although they can save your child from unanticipated
privations in the future.
John Adams is a paralegal who writes about widespread legal and social issues. He helps readers overcome challenges and solve many personal problems the smart way, rather than the hard way. He aims to reach out to individuals who are unaware of their legal rights, and make the world a better place.
© Anjali Sharma, Positive Side Of The Coin